Hezzy occupies so much space with the therapies and special classes and other things that it makes it hard to give our youngest a equal amount of time and energy but we do our best. We also have to be really aware of not leaning on him to heavily as he gets older. He has been the big brother since he was 3 years old and has a special connection with Hezzy that is sometimes hard to put into words. He is bright, really coordinating and loves to push boundaries. He can be Hezzy’s best friend and greatest tormentor in the span of a few minutes but that is all brothers right lol. Here are some things we have learned in having a typical son after having a child with ASD.
- It has brought balance for us and has helped us to see the beauty in both of our boys that we wouldn’t have fully understood otherwise.
- We had to relearn how to parent. Hezzy has never lied to us Matty did almost as soon as he could talk.
- We allow for his own space when ever we can. One thing we noticed is we tend to think Hezzy needs a lot more attention then he does. There would be moments where we were hovering over Hezzy and had Mattox standing by us. I know that he is much more affected by us not paying him equal attention, Hezzy a lot of times doesn’t even notice.
- Doing things together is sometimes harder to do but usually pays off in dividends later. Using opportunities like therapies to take him to a coffee shop or biking with 3 people instead of 2 allows for equal time without having to set a side more time.
- He is not the parent of my ASD child but he can be his best friend being purposeful in building that is so rewarding I would like to inspire everyone I can with that.
- This has affected how my wife and I look at relationships in general accepting others differences and appreciating them where they are at but also trying to gently encourage them to progress in the journey at the same time.
Are you debating whether you should have a child if your first born has been diagnosed with ASD? How do your kids interact do you give them equal parts of your energy and time? How has this affecting how you look at friendships have you pulled away from the world or have you embraced others differences?